Ds, Ds, Ds

Dilemmas and decisions are always perplexing. They can be such predicaments, and it really disturbs me that I can’t deal with it. And of late, I have been going through quite a bit of the Ds. (let’s call it Ds, no need to spell so many times) From frivolous things like whether my black dressy Marciano heels matches my grey leggings to really important things like potential significant-other-half and career-related future paths, I have been sitting on the middle of the fence.

Confusion is not the word, neither is Lost. I feel somewhat misplaced but as the same time, not exactly. I mean I can’t put my finger on it. Drats! This is another example; just trying to write this entry, I just can’t seem find the right word to describe how I feel.

My dad used to complain about how “fickle” my mother. Gosh I hope I’m not turning into her. Or am I? Even when it comes to the simplest things like what I should have for lunch, or whether I should cab it home, I can’t even decide. Is there something wrong with me, do I need to see a shrink?

Everyday in our lives, we make decisions; an uncountable amount of them indeed. From daily routines like brushing our teeth, to selecting our choice of breakfast (continental or local), to thinking if we should beat the traffic light when it’s turning amber and questioning work-related solutions in the office.

Even if the decision is stem from a habitual practice, ultimately we choose what we want to do, whether it’s a conscious effort or sub-conscious one.

And if only all decisions could be sub-conscious. Wouldn’t it be great. Just like driving on a automated car.

No need to change to gear 1, if we want to eat prata for breakfast, psych ourselves and say we’ll hit the gym after. No need to change to gear 2, when we’re at work, watching our mannerisms whilst portraying a professional image. No need, to change to gear 3, to let our hair down after work, drink like a fish and throw up at the sidewalk outside Zouk. No need to change to gear 4, and act all coy when we like someone and play hard to get. No need, to change to gear 5 when we’re get upset and loved one and not speak to them.

Just pure automation. No stick driving.

If only decisions and Ds could be made the same. *sigh*

I’m seriously at a cross roads now, should I go? Or should I stay?

I need an answer soon. Dear God, please guide me.